Lose the Clutter
Gain Back Your Life
"To clutter," the dictionary
tells us , is "to fill or cover with scattered or disorganized things that
impede movement or reduce effectiveness." Financial expert and author
Suze Orman agrees. She has seen her share of cluttered closets.
Visiting clients' homes and offices, Orman says she can always sniff out the
people with credit card dept. They're the ones with the closets that are a
mess! Orman believes clutter imprisons us; it prevents us from enjoying a fuller
life, making more money and having more satisfying relationships.
If this sounds familiar, it could be
because we are a nation of clutter-bugs, living in a land of abundance where
we're bombarded with appeals to accumulate even more. The results can wreak
havoc in our lives.
Getting Out from Under
In direct opposition to cluttering,
de-cluttering can be psychologically liberating, says Edward Halperin, M.C., a
New York psychiatrist. He adds, de-cluttering frees us from the accumulations
that crowd our mental and physical space. The question for man of us is how to
begin.
Terry Schuster, who heads Clutter Free in
Fair Lawn, New Jersey, advises breaking the task into small steps. Set a date
with yourself to organize, and write it on you calendar. Is a closet problem
area? Divide it into sections: the floor; the shelf. Then select one section to
focus on. What doesn't belong on the floor? Put those items in their proper
place. Now you're on your way!
Giving away unwanted items is a technique
that works for Cathrine Fetterman, painter and mother of two. Fetterman, who
survived a postpartum depression that left her "feeling down and needing
structure," keeps a give-away bag by the door filled with items her
family no longer needs. She passes them along tot baby-sitters and
friends. Result? Grateful friends and newfound order. "Order spurs my
creativity," she says, "It frees me to pursue art."
Eleanor Traubman, head of Clean Slate
Organizing and Coaching Services in New York, offers this solution for unwanted
gifts: "Ask yourself if you can hold on to the sentiment and memory of a
person without holding on to the gift." If so, donate unwanted presents to
charity.
Traubman also suggests keeping a basket
near your front door to drop your mail into. Then, for mail and other papers,
try this acronym: RAFT. R=Refer it to someone else. A=Act on this immediately.
F=File it. T=Toss it.
For most of us, there are times when it's
hard to concentrate on tasks that seems mundane, and staying focused long enough
to de-clutter can pose a problem. But you don't have to devote long periods of
time to the process. Professional organizer Daralee Schulman offers her clients
a hotline for 15-minute telephone de-cluttering sessions ("some people are
too embarrassed to let me in their homes"). She says to skim newspapers
daily, clip what you want to read and toss the rest. "What really matters
is consistency." she adds, that is, doing this routine on a regular basis.
Schulman offers this hint to those who
have trouble focusing: Talk out loud to yourself as you put your keys or
eyeglasses away. "I am placing my car keys in my top drawer." Hearing
your own words reinforces the action so that you'll remember where the keys are
whenever you need them.
Another of Schulman's time-tested tips:
When you can't make a decision about what to toss, put the items aside for about
tow weeks. If you still haven't used or thought about them in that time, throw
them out.
Accumulating Less
If accumulating too much is your problem,
you're not alone. "Everybody does this a bit," says Randy Frost,
Ph.D., professor of psychology at Smith College, referring to our tendency to
acquire and hold on to possessions. In its extreme form, mental health experts
refer to this as hoarding.
A preventive weapon in the battle against
clutter is to reduce the accumulation of new possessions. Dr. Frost and a team
of therapists at the Boston University Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders
conduct "nonshopping trips" for people who have trouble curbing their
desire for more. He describes a typical scenario: "We go to the store. The
person finds something he wants, holds it in his hands, then walks away."
Afterward, a person's reaction is measured through a series of questions that
rate just how uncomfortable he was in not making the purchase.
This technique can be used by anyone who
wants simply to scale back: Shop with a friend who can gently steer you away
from a sale after you've admired something your really want but don't
really need. In time, you can desensitize yourself. What's more, you may
even grow to feel empowered by your newfound restraint.
In helping her clients, Traubman asks
them: "What are your trying to have room for?" Her answer:
"People in you life, a job, more time with your children, If you spend half
the morning looking for your car keys, that detracts from the peace of mind you
need to be fully present with the people you love."
One practical way to make room for
something new is to create a file for it, says Traubman. For example, start a
file tagged FAMILY REUNION or FLOWER GARDEN. Even if you have nothing to put
inside it now, having a file moves you closer to turning a wish into reality!
"We all attach emotional energy to objects
that surround us," Traubman says. "But if we cram our lives with
things from the past, that does not leave much room to welcome new people, new experiences
or opportunities." When we start to de-clutter, we discover a bonus.
"We see things show up - sometimes literally, a lost ring, for instance,
sometimes magically." Like magic, she says, "you create space for
something new in your life - a job, money, a relationship." Who
wouldn't trade clutter for that!
Taken from: FamilyCircle, June 18,
2002, pg54, 56.
